As a chronically ill person and full of pain, I know it is hard to feel happy. It's at logger heads with logic that one can be in pain yet still happy. But I do believe it's possible.
Firstly, I must say that without Christ, I would be the most miserable person alive. It is He Who keeps me looking upwards instead of downwards and inwards... and it is through knowing Him that I can give thanks every morning I wake that He has given me another day of life. Yes, it's a painful life and sometimes it brings panic and depression. But until Christ comes or takes me Home, it's the only life I have.
I intend to live it to the fullest within reason and the boundaries of my limitations.. I have no choice but to change plans and so on, but once I accept that this is my new normal and that is how God has ordained this season, I find peace. Not peace the world understands, but the peace that comes from Him and that goes beyond all human understanding.. So in my 65th year of life, I have a choice that I must make daily: to choose happiness and life or misery and no life. I choose happiness and life.
It doesn't mean that I feel no pain. My limitations are still there and so are the scars. But I will change my plans, juggle my days to eke out my spoons and I will guard my thoughts and heart. I will be joyful. I will now choose to go to that event that my body rejects and I will plan to rest up afterwards. I will suffer an inevitable backlash of flares and pain afterwards and yes, my body will hurt as I sit in the car or plane or whatever- but it will still pain me and hurt me if I were to stay at home, even in bed.
Every day is a blessing and how we live each day is how we live our life. I want to make memories. I want to remember more than being in pain and constant medications. That is why I choose to go overseas, even though in the natural my anxiety soars and I am afraid. I look to the positives and the memories of family I have yet to meet and places I have never seen.
Even a sit outside in the air or a brief car trip that gets us out of the house can be a choice for freedom, joy and life. What are *your* choices? Choose life and joyful memories. One life. Live it well...
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13