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Thursday, 2 February 2017

THE KING WAS IN HIS COUNTING HOUSE



There is an old rhyme that jokingly says, "What's yours is mine and what's mine's my own!"  It usually refers to money more than possessions.  Chris often says that to me when I ask him for some money!

We are able to laugh about it because nothing is further from the truth in our marriage. We don't have his and her money.... all monies that come into the house belong to us both.  We are a team in everything in life, including money.

Because we share everything in life, we also share how we have spent our money... which isn't often because most times before we spend, we discuss it..  If we have been separated during the day, we will come home and work out our finances together.

Ever since our marriage nearly 20 years ago, we have used Microsoft Money 2000, a computer software package that we work out our budget on and we keep track of our expenses and income.  Because I am more computer savvy than Chris and am used to working out finances as part of my previous job positions, he allows me control of our finances.

When I say control, I do not mean secrecy, or spending unwisely. I mean budgeting,  keeping an account of expenses and bills  and so forth.  There is no control of how he spends money in the sense that I dole out X amount of money to him and no more...No, we are a partnership and as such we are accountable one to the other regarding what we have done with our money. 

Each evening for example, I will check our bank account, check the amount of money in my purse and Chris' wallet and work out the money... If Chris has spent some money, he tells me how much and on what, and I just do an adjustment in the ledger...  I don't fuss over what it was as I trust Chris to have discussed with  me if we are going to buy anything if it is a large purchase.

Likewise, if I need to buy something for a birthday, or some clothes or something on ebay, I will always ask him first... most times if I say that is affordable, he will agree.  I never have to feel guilty over any purchases. He trusts me implicitly as well.

Every pay fortnight, I work out the bills and then Chris sits down at the computer with me and we discuss which ones we will pay... sometimes my plans in the Money Program are changed around if Chris thinks we will be over committed and we will rearrange things...

Money is not an issue with us because we see that we use it wisely and jointly.  It never is allowed to come between us in causing arguments and strife.  We know that money can cause problems in some marriages and we don't want it to be one in ours...

I received a little money from my Uncles' inheritance when we were first married.  We bought our first home with that money as a deposit... I wanted that money to be something that Chris could benefit from as well as me..

There have been a few people known to us who have his and her money and who even have secreted some away in case the marriage goes belly up... we never want anything like this in our marriage...

Sometimes if I have managed to be frugal, I will stay out in the kitchen, and let Chris get a surprise and see for himself... it is a great joy to me to please him like this... it kind of reminds me of the King in the counting house, counting all his money...I do love to see my frugality pay off...

Money  problems are listed in second place to sexual problems and infidelity, so money should have its rightful place in your marriage... don't let it- no matter how much or how little,  become a stumbling block for you both but share in its management together!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11

23 comments:

  1. Thank you for saying so, Denise... I am just determined not to make the same mistake in this marriage as I did in the first one... wisdom is easy in hindsight! In my first marriage, I didn't even know how much my husband earned- he wouldn't tell me. I had to account for every cent whilst he was able to use however much he wanted... I also had to eek out how many pairs of pantyhose I bought a week, how many boxes of personal hygiene items I bought... you get the message. Chris and I didn't want money to be an issue with us... hence our united responsibility and accountability to each other...

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  2. Isn't it a blessing to be in agreement when it comes to money? You don't need a lot, you just need agreement. And I'm with you - I love being able to show my husband the results of my frugality!

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    1. Chris is so appreciative of my efforts.. it spurs me on to do better... It's true too, what you say, Lisa.. you don't need a lot, you just need agreement!

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  3. We do things very differently in our house and it works well. I manage all the finances and my husband has little involvement in the day to day finance. My husband isn't fond of money matters so I save him the hassle. I see it as part of my role as wife. It's interesting how couples do things differently, but as long as both are happy and things work, it's good.

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    1. I think it's great that you have a harmonious relationship regarding your finances too! it's like Lisa said, you just need agreement!

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  4. You raise a great point. Anyone interested in dooming their marriage should stash money and keep it secret. I know a marriage where that happened.

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    1. You know, Julie I believe there are many many marriages where money is stashed away in secret- some people are very good at deception and secrecy! In my opinion, they have cast a pall over their marriage seeing that a foundation issue like trust has never been laid. So sad isn't it?

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  5. It's so great how you and your hubby work together on your money and spending, Glenys! Not many couples are that trusting of one another. Thanks for sharing your wise experience and great insights with all of us at Marriage Monday!

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    1. Beth, Chris and I both had bad experiences with our first marriages... because Chris was so trusting of his ex-wife, when she left him (for her boss)- he was left not only heart-broken, but with $2 left in their joint bank account. When we were engaged, we vowed to learn from any mistakes and not have them come between us in our marriage... trust was a big hurdle for Chris... especially trusting a woman again! We are as a result very transparent with each other and extremely honest...

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  6. It's really not 'asking' our spouse's permission -- we're sharing what's being done with the resources available. I will say this, should my Beloved Husband hesitate, I need to be certain he'll not be swayed by his love for me and I owe him that same truthfulness. Staying with budget is important for both of us.

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    1. That is so true, Phyllis. I think you are very considerate.

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  7. Great post :) While I do the work of recording the info, we also have no secrets and work together to keep one another at ease about the money stuff. Appreciate your post.

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  8. Thanks for sharing, I agree it is so important not to keep secrets from each other. That can cause so many problems.

    Bethany

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  9. Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday today, Glenys!

    Blessings, e-Mom ღ

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    1. Thanks for hosting it, e-Mom! Blessings!

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  10. Nice team work. And you make it sound so easy!

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    1. It goes smoothly for us because before we married, we decided that we would not let money come between us.... it still takes dedication to the plan! Blessings!

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  11. It hasn't really been an issue for us either! We figure out the necessities and talk about anything else. What's ours is ours! And doesn't it all belong to God anyway? :)
    Visiting from Hearts 4 Home today...

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  12. It works out easily if there is agreement. Thanks for taking tea with me today, Emily!

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  13. Thank you for sharing, Glenys. I appreciate the teamwork. I hope to hear from you again on Domestically Divine.

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