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Tuesday, 28 February 2017

THANK GOD IT'S JESUS!


There are many things in life that can break us. Illness, loss, grief, depression, divorce to mention just a few. But often it is sin that breaks us the most: and unlike some other things that break us, time does not make it easier. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelation 3:19

That is why repentance is so important. We need to repent as soon as the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, for if we don't, we give a foothold to the evil one. He takes great delight in making us feel estranged from God and hopeless. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

Of course, God is not distancing Himself from us- we do that when we are conscious of sinning. So it is imperative that we come to Christ and confess our sin immediately and partake afresh of His Grace. There is nothing like the fragrant aroma of Grace as a balm for our sin when there is true repentance and forgiveness...The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Psalm 51:15

But after repentance and forgiveness, we often find that there are those who still judge us and who remind us of our sin constantly. They call that which God sees as clean, unclean...Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw [it], he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman [this is] that toucheth him: for she is a sinner. Luke 7:39

But where can one go when judging fingers point out our repented sin? We go back to Jesus. We take His Word that He has forgiven us. we renounce the judgers as being used by the evil one, and we get back on our feet, and continue in the Spirit...Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5
Often the one who has sinned the most will arise forgiven and serve God in a passion and newness bought through the cleansing of the Blood of Christ, and in gratitude for His sacrifice for us...Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Psalm 51:12

I have noticed many times over that people who have been broken and whom God has restored, often serve Him with passion and a zeal that others don't match. The greater the sin, the greater God's Grace..."Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little." Luke 7:47

As for those who judge us, we should remind them that the Blood of Jesus has washed our sin away and that they should not ever call unclean what God has called clean...As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

When it comes to sin and forgiveness, one Judge is enough. Thank God it's Jesus! 


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:18


Sunday, 26 February 2017

YOU'RE A GOOD GOOD FATHER!


You're a good good Father, that's Who You are, that's Who You are... and I'm loved by You, that's who I am, that's who I am..You're perfect in all of Your ways!   Chris Tomlin

I didn't have a good earthly father. Oh, I loved him, but as he was a violent alcoholic, I was afraid of him and loved him from a distance. It was a sad kind of love... wanting to be near, but too afraid to come to him. Unfortunately, this perception of God as a Father stayed with me until I was about 30 years old. That's when my mother who was widowed, married my step-father Max. 

Max was a Christian man who showed me what an earthly father should be like. He was approachable and took an interest in both myself and Chris and my children... Knowing him changed my view of Father God... Max is now with the LORD and there is not a day I don't remember something he would say and I thank him for bringing me into a deeper and closer relationship with Father God. 

Our earthly fathers can be less than good and disappoint us and let us down or even abuse us. But Father God is perfect in love and sent His own Son to reach us and bring us into a relationship with Him through Jesus. It took me years to realise that our fathers are sinners and some have not been saved through grace as we have.... 

But we have a perfect Father in God and we would do well to remember that when our earthly fathers let us down.... 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Jesus replied, “Philip, I have been with you all this time, and still you do not know Me? Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? John 14:9

Saturday, 25 February 2017

LIVING WITHOUT SEX IS POSSIBLE



This picture reminds me of Chris and I in the kitchen... I often can be washing the dishes and he will come behind me for a cuddle.. I still blush and giggle like a school girl!  I usually go weak at the knees when he kisses the back of my neck, and I turn around and kiss him passionately.  Finally, we break away, breathless with romance and laughter!  Most times, he then pitches in and helps me finish washing up.

This little dalliance of ours to us is quite romantic and that coupled with the fact that Chris helps me with the dishes, makes me feel nurtured and happy- it doesn't take a lot for me! Which is good, because money is short for a lot of flowers and chocolates.

We do go out together for meals whenever we can salt away a little money.  Nothing too expensive, but we bring our own ambiance!  Just looking into each others' eyes and holding hands over the table reminds us of our early days together and keeps us focused on each other.  Truly, we do adore each other.

Because money is in short supply, and because we constantly laugh together and cuddle often, we feel that special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and Valentines' Day aren't necessary to show affection and love. We in fact, do not buy gifts for these for each other. And it is perfectly fine with us. We do, however look at our wedding photos and reminisce a lot on our anniversary or any other date significant to us...

I think it may be the fact that we are an older married couple that makes it easier to see romance in ways that younger couples don't.  With age and ill health, both Chris and I prefer a bubble bath at home with a good back wash and nail trims or a foot or back massage.  We do that for each other on a regular basis. To us, nurture is romance!

Chris loves me bringing his breakfast into him in the morning. This to him is romantic and although his not buying me presents and sending me cards may seem that he is an unromantic man, nothing could be further from the truth.  He sings to me! We have some special songs that he says were written just for us, and he will play them on the computer, and take me in his arms and croon to me as we dance slowly round the living room.

Because I am often in hospital, Chris shows his care by staying with me most of the day until visiting hours are over, just stroking my hair and holding my hand. Or he will come with our laptop and headphones for me. My heart melts with love for him.  We can't stand to be away from each other.

Illness, medications, no spoons and age have curtailed our times of intimacy, but we manage to show love to each other in ways that are imaginative, erotic and very caring.  There is absolutely no thoughts of unmet needs- love can be expressed in ways other than full sexual intercourse, and we delight in each other regardless! If sex happens, it's a bonus!

So we don't care about no presents or cards for Christmas, or birthdays or Valentines' Day-  with the romantic sparks that still fly between us, and our little dalliances, every day is Valentines' Day. 

I thank God for Chris as I am one very blessed wife, and I tell him often.... he finds that very romantic too! We are proof that you can live without sex!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life ... 1 Peter 3:7  this post has been written with my husbands' permission.

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

GOD HATES DIVORCE, NOT YOU!


As a previously severely abused wife, I know the anguish that it brings, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Sadly, the Church usually enables the abuser by blaming the wife and telling her to submit more... Lack of submission is rarely the problem here, in fact often a man can be so sick of heart or head that the more his wife tries to please him, the more intolerable his behaviour... I know because I have lived it for 25 years...

If you are being severely abused.. and you most likely won't make it public... then know there are scriptural reasons you can get out of that marriage... don't stay until you are killed or nearly killed... God hates spousal abuse more than divorce. Yes. More than divorce. He hates the violence. Not you. 

"For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence," says the LORD of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." Malachi 2:16  
It is important to remember that God sees all our anguish... and knows the truth. He sees that which goes on behind closed doors. I do not believe that He wants that for His daughters... If a spouse makes the covenant of marriage an unsafe place, then I believe God would have us out of it... he hates violence, He is a defender of the widow and fatherless.. He is also a forgiving God. And I believe from reading His Word and knowing the blessing of forgiveness in my life and getting some comprehension of the richness of His Grace and love towards us, that He would not have an innocent daughter of His suffering forever for the sins of her abuser. I asked Him for forgiveness for my part in the failure of my marriage, and I remarried nearly 20 years ago... I believe the LORD has blessed me and will do so for His other abused daughters... that is the God I know from His Word... Compassionate, loving, just and kind. He is our Father... saying that divorce and remarriage is the unpardonable sin limits the depth of His Grace and negates the Blood of Christ in my opinion...

Here is a good article I found...

We must follow the Spirit of Christ, not the Letter of the Law... Where sin abounds, His Grace runs deeper. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He delivers me from my enemies. You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man. Psalm 18:48


Saturday, 18 February 2017

FOCUS ON LOVE



What are we, as Christian parents, to think and more importantly do when Godly discipline turns deadly and a little child is senselessly killed at the hand of his parents desperately hoping only to "train up a child in the way he should go"?

Nearly four years ago, I wrote about out the death of Sean Paddock at the hand of his mother, Lynn Paddock. Paddock was eventually convicted of her son's murder.

A week ago another couple, Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz, were charged with the death of their seven year old daughter, Lydia. Her eleven year old sister, Zariah, was recently released from the hospital. The parents are scheduled to appear in court in just a few days.

These two tragic events have at least one common thread - the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl. Those that have been reading my blog for a while know that I have written multiple posts critical of the Pearls and their child training and marriage materials.

In one very lengthy and detailed post, A Switch or A Cross, I wrote about the lack of clarity in the Pearl's teachings, including methods which I feared could lead loving well-intentioned parents, especially mothers, to extreme disciplinary actions toward their own children. I wrote,

After listening to Mr. Pearl at a seminar a few years ago, I came away with a very different interpretation than what I had when I only read the book To Train Up a Child and some newsletters. As everyone does, I took my background and applied it to the material. After the seminar, I realized my idea of training was very different than Mr. Pearls. His method of training and answers to specific questions were not exactly what I thought appropriate in many areas. I began to realize that if I could misinterpret it so could others. While my misinterpretation may not be harmful some else's very well could be. I don't know what is going on in other homes.

Now consider what Laura Mather, a friend of the Schatz family, wrote about Lydia's mother,

"Elizabeth, the mother, is possibly the warmest person I’ve ever known. One of the hardest things for me, has been squaring the soft, meek woman I know with the hard cold fact of a dead child (and another who was at that time critically injured and fighting for her life).

Her feelings capture exactly why I stopped reading and recommending the Pearl's material. As parents, most of us could never imagine the possibility that within a mother we know lies the potential to harm. But the deceptively alluring promise of complete obedience and sinless perfection does indeed lead parents astray and, in the worst cases, do the unthinkable. Especially when you have an author like Michael Pearl admonishing parents in very emphatic terms not to reject his teaching,

"If you do not see the wisdom in what I have said, and you reject these concepts, you are not fit to be a parent. I pity your children. They will never experience the freedom of soul and conscience that mine do."

And just what is this wise counsel that will make us fit to parent and will liberate our children's soul and conscience? Never show mercy, not even one time.

Consistency on your part will break that habit in just a few days. Never threaten, and never show mercy. One squeak of a scream gets a switching. (NGJ, Vol 1, pg 26)

The idea that a parent is never to show mercy is absurd and leaves only the choice of a rod as the solution to childish infractions. To Schatz that allegedly meant showing no mercy to her daughter for "mispronouncing a word during a homeschool reading lesson."

However, contrary to Pearl's self-proclaimed wisdom, God's Word says clearly that mercy has a definite place and judgment is reserved for those who never show any,

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!" James 2:13

Laura's husband, Paul Mather, on his blog and in Salon pleads for the Christian church to speak up and speak out.

"I would love to see the people rise up and say no to the Pearls, that this will not stand. I would love to see the Pearl system become anathema, disgusting, and shunned by the world. I would love to see the Pearls out of a job. Before another child dies."

I said no to the Pearls years ago and will once again add my voice to the Mathers, TulipGirl, Timberdoodle, Karen Campbell, Virginia Knowles and a growing chorus that pleads, enough!

Homeschooling father, author, and conference speaker, Rob Shearer commented on the recent tragedy and summed it all up very nicely,

Every child is a precious gift from God and dear to His heart. Even when they stomp their feet and disobey – it is a misguided sense of pride to think that this in anyway impugns our position, dignity, or competence as parents.

Focus on love – not on creating an image of obedience and perfection. by Spunky of Spunky Homeschool

Blessings, Glenys


For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment. James 2:1

Monday, 13 February 2017

GOD AND THE WIDOW


As I get older, a few of my friends have become widows. Sad as it is, it is just a part of growing old, but I miss my friends husbands as well. They were a team.

Having widows as friends, I often was asked why God allowed them to lose their spouses and some questioned their faith and were angry with Him. Some even thought that God was punishing them. So in order to help,  I decided to do a study on how God sees the widow..

* He is protective of widows.
You have sent widows away empty, and the strength of the fatherless was crushed. Job 22:9

* He is a defender of widows.
A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. Psalm 68:5

“who devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.” Luke 20:47

* He judges those who exploit widows.
And I will come near you for judgement; I will be a swift witness against sorcerers, against adulterers, against perjurers, against those who exploit wage earners and widows and orphans, and against those who turn away an alien— because they do not fear Me,” says the LORD of hosts.  Malachi 3:5

You have sent widows away empty, and the strength of the fatherless was crushed. Job 22:9

To rob the needy of justice, and to take what is right from the poor of My people, that widows may be their prey, and that they may rob the fatherless.  Isaiah 10:2

* He raised the dead because of widows.
Then Peter arose and went with them. When he had come, they brought him to the upper room. And all the widows stood by him weeping, showing the tunics and garments which Dorcas had made while she was with them. But Peter put them all out, and knelt down and prayed. And turning to the body he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. Then he gave her his hand and lifted her up; and when he had called the saints and widows, he presented her alive. Acts 9:39-41

* He honours them.
Honor widows who are really widows. 1 Timothy 5:3

* He provides for them.
Leave your fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let your widows trust in Me.” Jeremiah 49:11


Now in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplying, there arose a complaint against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution. Acts 6:1

* He loves them and wants the Body of Christ to love them..
Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. James 1:27

I was glad I did the study because I was able to tell my friends that God really loves them and will be a husband to them and a Father to the fatherless...

For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;  He is called the God of the whole earth. Isaiah 54:5

A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. Psalm 68:5

© Glenys Robyn Hicks



Sunday, 12 February 2017

SO WHAT'S WITH THE SPOONS?



Because chronic illness brings a need to pace oneself to avoid burnout or bringing on a flare of our illness, you will find the saying "spoons" used quite a lot here.

Trying to explain an invisible illness and this need to pace oneself and conserve energy, is difficult. Christine Miserandino has written  the Spoon Theory.  It is a wonderful analogy of pacing and energy conservation written in a way that people who don't suffer from a chronic illness can understand.

I cannot publish it here so I have provided the link back to her article.

Today, I am still feeling unwell and have to use my limited spoons sparingly, I must get dressed and tidy the house for Lee to come. There are a few baskets of washing ready to be folded and put away and these are littering up the floor in our walk in robe. She won't be able to vacuum if I don't sort that out.  And I have to unload the dishwasher from last night and reload it with the breakfast things.

Our cats have made a mess of their bowls and spilt their Whiskas dry food over the kitchen floor, I have to clean that because I can't expect her to clean up after my pets. I haven't even got dressed yet.

I can see it is going to be one of those days where I wake with a shortfall of spoons! But I need to push myself a bit.... yes, I am resisting going back to bed! But as they say, the fairy godmother's not coming! I am IT!


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

I love you, LORD, my strength. Psalm 18:1b

Friday, 10 February 2017

FACE OF GOD?



As you know, I love collecting graphics and looking at artwork. Of course in my travels through the art world, I look at representations of faces Of God, especially of Jesus Christ. And as expected, there are literally thousands of images of artists' impressions of what He looks like. Frankly, it makes me a little uncomfortable.

I feel that if God wanted us to know with a surety what His Son looked like, He would have given us a description of Him in scripture. Whereas we know from scripture only that He was a normal man with no particular distinguishing or even handsome features. Certainly nothing that would cause envy amongst men or cause women to turn their heads. He was to all accounts, visually just a man with a beard.

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is that in trying to capture the likeness of God, the viewer is limited to the imagination of the artist. Often this can lead to our own perceptions of the face of God being different, and we can either love or loathe the Christ represented.

Now, I know that in posting pictures of Christ, it will sometimes conflict with your idea of what He looked like: but we are limited to representing the Divine in human visible form through art and film. My favourite pictures of what is to me the representation of the Divine may conflict with yours.... it depends on my idea of what is attractive and manly and godly.

It is of no small significance that God in His Wisdom did not give us a detailed description of His Son in the scriptures. I believe that this was intentional. Knowing how fickle humans are, God knew that some would reject Christ based solely on the fact that He had a bulbous Jewish nose or that He was of a different skin tone or eye colour than what we fancied. If we doubt that we are fickle in this regard, we have only to think of Hollywood, cosmetic surgery, and designer babies!

No, obviously the outward appearance is not of great consequence to God, but the heart and spirit of a man are. And we find much about those qualities in relating to who Christ is in scripture. Finally, to all of us who love the LORD, the actual facial features are not that important: we love the Man and King of Kings regardless!



© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, [there is] no beauty that we should desire him. Isaiah 53:2

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

LET THE CHILDREN PLAY!



In the 50 and 60's when I was growing up, we played a good deal of our spare time. Often we played outdoors, making mud pies, making houses in Dad's shed. These houses were not only homes to us, but often were hospitals, churches for weddings, and shops.

Play was often quite physical with the customary games of tiggy chasey, hopscotch, skip jump and marbles and jacks. At school play time we made houses out of stones in the playground. We re-enacted shows on TV such as Flash Gordon and Jet Jackson.


When my children were little, they played similar games to us and I encouraged them by playing with them and making cubby houses for my little girl, Sonia. She would spend many a happy hour making me cups of tea and serving them to me in her tiny china tea service.


Her brother Mark often would jump on her cubby house, trying to fly like Superman, a tea cloth tied around his neck. Sonia and Superman would often have a falling out! And later on they were joined by their brother Greg and sister Dianne, getting a ride on the back of their older siblings' trike with the little trailer on the back.

I can still remember with fondness my older son's patience with his baby sister as she toddled up to his cricket bales, knocking them off for the hundredth time, chuckling as he replaced it. She obviously thought that he was doing it for her amusement. They were happy and healthy times.

Today, I have noticed a shift in play. Children don't seem to have much imagination. They get bored easily and need constant stimulation. One child in our family needs a DVD to watch in the car because she gets bored going out and about... bored? I can well remember our fights to have the window seats when Dad borrowed a car for our once a week outing. Everything was exciting!

We had an imagination that came from a natural curiosity with the world, not through constant stimulation of TV, DVD's and computer games.... There aren't even a lot of children out playing with new bikes and toys in the streets on Christmas morning like days of old. They are too busy being entertained by cyber games and computers. They are getting old and fat before their time.

I saw a documentary recently that said that we must return to the old ways of play, for in them children gained insight to how things worked, and became socially skilled. They learnt many skills both vocal and social and learnt how to co-operate and how to assert themselves without resorting to fighting. They became more confident.

It also found that children who were denied the chance to play with other children or outdoors, lacked the social skills and motor skills found in children who played in the old-fashioned way.

Recently, I have been minding my grandchildren and I have been encouraging them to play out of doors. They have been having a great time riding their scooters, digging in the builder's sand, making mud pies and generally behaving like *children*

It has been good for them and fun for me too. Hearing their laughter reminds me of their mother Dianne and my other now grown children playing as youngsters and it is comforting to know that I am doing them a service by letting the children play.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof. Zechariah 8:5 

Tuesday, 7 February 2017

YOUR CHILDREN ARE ETERNAL TREASURES



Many years ago, I studied Anne Ortlund’s Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman with a group of ladies. We discussed Mrs. Ortlund's ideas and agreed that, apart from a lot of good ideas for us being disciplined in our lives, she was off base regarding our priorities as women. For our priorities are clear in God's Word: 


  • God
  • Husband
  • Children
  • Home
  • Church
  • Outreach



We decided on this in light of Titus 2 and other verses, and I believe that this is, indeed, the best way to prioritise our lives. Outside ministries are fine, provided that your husband agrees and is supportive of it and that your children and household duties are not neglected. Our biggest ministry is to our own family. We shortchange them when we are neglectful of them due to over commitment and tiredness. 

How can it honour the LORD for us to give all our energy to others when our marriages may suffer and our children run wild? We end up giving the first fruits of our energy and commitment to others. I believe that we should see any form of ministry outside the home as secondary to the ministry of Mother and Wife. If duties are in order at home and your husband is not feeling neglected, then I believe you can engage in outside ministry with a happy heart. 



Many women do not see the importance of their role as Mother and Wife and feel frustrated in not being able to participate in outside ministry. God has placed us in a ministry precisely because we are wives and/or mothers. We don't have to be discontented and looking for other ministries...we have our calling already. I think placing priorities outside the biblical order jeopardises our happiness in our homes and families, and you can believe me, even service in ministry can be a lonely experience if you have lost those closest to you. When you put God's priorities in order, He is being served first, second, third, fourth, and fifth. He is all in all and in everything you do. 



We need to invest more time in our marriages and families, not less, and to God will be all the glory when we raise godly children--future warriors for the LORD and bearers of His name. 

Enjoy your calling, ladies; you are investing in eternal treasures.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

Monday, 6 February 2017

SHE JUST WANTS TO GO HOME

In a moment of lucidity, Ethel knows she isn't home. She hears the sounds of the nursing home: loud voices and chesty wheeze of her room-mate, Doris. The tea trolley squeaks, rattling the teacups and cutlery. Air freshener hangs in the air to blot out the odour of ageing bodies with their bed for bathrooms. She pulls the bedclothes over her grey head, closes her eyes to her new home and slips into a world where all’s in the past and far easier on her mind….

No, this is not Ethel’s home, for home was a whistling jug, and churning washer, a humming fridge filled with food, kitchen with clinking cups and rattling cutlery, where her brown hair would droop over steam from the iron, and the screen door would bang, and the toilet flush, where a bath was running, and a vacuum cleaner hummed after she washed her breakfast dishes in steamy suds. Where steaks were sizzling and pots were bubbling, and line-dried sheets waited to be folded, and apple and cinnamon were dinner’s desserts and lavender handwash blended with pot pourri and roses out in the garden.

Where dogs yapped and tabby cats napped- there was her home of linoleum floors smooth on her feet, and blue rinsed sheets and blankets waiting to receive her from the smooth clean bathtub with soft white towels, her room with warm afghan draped over her chair.

Where once her husband held out his strong arms for her- arms that timed her pains then rocked all their babies and paced the floor with colicky infants and still rose early and chopped all her wood, and laboured all day in the fields to support them- this was her home….

The nurse can hear the soft muffled sobs and draws in her breath, lets it out with a sigh- no need to ask Ethel what's wrong, for she already knows, the reason is plain: like all of them there- she knows she just wants to go home!

This word picture was written for my Aunt, who just wants to go home too.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

" Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old" Proverbs 23:22

Friday, 3 February 2017

BEING THERE FOR OUR CHILDREN



When I grew up in the 50's and 60's the majority of mothers stayed home with their children and didn't baulk at being there. We grew up with Mother always being home when we got home from school, offering us milk and cookies, supervising play and homework, cooking dinner and folding up the laundry. If she wasn't home when we got home it felt as if the world had turned on its axis! Mum was our world and we pitied the few kids at school whose mums worked outside the home! Mum being there was our anchor of security and it is one of the memories of childhood I have where I felt happy and secure.

Gradually I noticed that more and more of my friend's mums were working outside the home and I remember one friend in particular who would go home from school, set the dinner table, feed the dogs, and play with me until her mother came home, which was my sign to make tracks home because my dinner would just about be ready. I would skip home glad to know Mum was there bustling around the kitchen or putting her day's laundry over the airer in front of the fire. It was a routine that was as predictable as the setting of the sun.

How sad I felt for my friend coming home to an empty house. She may have her gold bracelets and an Osmond's fountain pen that we couldn't afford- but young as I was, I knew which side my bread was buttered on- and as far as I was concerned, I would rather have my Mum home than the pink and white bedroom suite and carpeted bedroom my friend had all to herself. I would gladly share mine with my sister and have Mum where she was. I still feel sad for her today- to my mind she had everything except the most important- a stay at home mother.

Today's world has changed so much. Often mothers have to work to provide for their children- and they do a wonderful of job of balancing motherhood and career. But an awful lot of women who could stay home with their children have been hood-winked into believing that they don't contribute to society by staying home with their children! They do not see the value in teaching and training of their children, and they are blind to the infinite blessing of nurturing to the spirit of their babies by just being there- at home!

Never before has motherhood taken such a pounding by feminists, employers, TV commercials urging us to consume more and more whilst leaving the most precious of things- our children, under the care of daycare centres and people who give good care but no real love to their children. How I long for those mothers to catch a glimpse of their children's spirits as they are left day after day in the care of people who only see nurturing these children as a job, not a privilege. They are being deprived of the security of knowing that Mom is with them all day, in their own home. They don't care that the house may not be the biggest, they are just as warm in K-mart clothes as designer labels, but they do care that they are deprived of their Mum's time- they just can't express it yet!

How do you know they care that their Mum isn't there you say?- I know because I have seen children woken up at early hours from warm beds or cots to be bundled hurriedly into cars to be taken to daycare! I have seen their looks of bewilderment and seen how long it takes for them to settle- granted initially at first- fortunately for them, children are amazingly resilient. And I have seen the look of delight when they see Mum come to pick them up, and I have seen too the little head nuzzling into Mummy's neck soaking up the scent of Mum and her body warmth! Heaven in a child's world!

I have seen little ones clinging to carers who are forbidden to attach to one child for too long in case they bond- thus making it difficult to cope with said child if that carer isn't available on any given day! I have seen misery inside those gaily painted daycare centres where all care is taken- but no bonding is allowed. What a stage setting for bonding problems in the adult kids!

If a mother could just see inside her child's heart for a moment she would reconsider her position as a working mother. She would stay at home with her children and cut her cloth accordingly. Her education would not be wasted for there is a great challenge in balancing finances on one wage, being a wise mother, cook, nutritionist, nurse, play supervisor, educator and above all else, companion and guide to little ones eager to emulate her. She would find true happiness in herself as she is less pressured for time, and she would have the enjoyment of knowing that she has made the most of the few precious years we have with our children.


Our young children want their Mummies, and our older children are looking for something that is lacking- something in their spirit that is empty- the joy of being wanted- and nurtured and loved. Before the car, the house, the clothes, the toys. Before the holidays, the big Christmas presents, the expensive lap-tops.

They are hungry for love and bonding. Don't let that be with strangers who offer them acceptance and belonging as they ply them with drugs! You be the one! You are the one they long for! Take back the house keys and stop them being latch-key kids before it's too late. Just be there, Mum. Make a decision in faith that God will provide for your needs- this is His Will for all mothers- it is part of His great plan! If you ever needed to be needed, it's now! Don't think your boss can't get by without you- he can, but your kids can't. Not if they are going to be godly, loving, confident adults and parents, they can't. But it starts with you. Will you be a part of God's plan in motherhood? Will you trust Him to meet your needs? But most importantly, will you just be there for them?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19 

Thursday, 2 February 2017

THE KING WAS IN HIS COUNTING HOUSE



There is an old rhyme that jokingly says, "What's yours is mine and what's mine's my own!"  It usually refers to money more than possessions.  Chris often says that to me when I ask him for some money!

We are able to laugh about it because nothing is further from the truth in our marriage. We don't have his and her money.... all monies that come into the house belong to us both.  We are a team in everything in life, including money.

Because we share everything in life, we also share how we have spent our money... which isn't often because most times before we spend, we discuss it..  If we have been separated during the day, we will come home and work out our finances together.

Ever since our marriage nearly 20 years ago, we have used Microsoft Money 2000, a computer software package that we work out our budget on and we keep track of our expenses and income.  Because I am more computer savvy than Chris and am used to working out finances as part of my previous job positions, he allows me control of our finances.

When I say control, I do not mean secrecy, or spending unwisely. I mean budgeting,  keeping an account of expenses and bills  and so forth.  There is no control of how he spends money in the sense that I dole out X amount of money to him and no more...No, we are a partnership and as such we are accountable one to the other regarding what we have done with our money. 

Each evening for example, I will check our bank account, check the amount of money in my purse and Chris' wallet and work out the money... If Chris has spent some money, he tells me how much and on what, and I just do an adjustment in the ledger...  I don't fuss over what it was as I trust Chris to have discussed with  me if we are going to buy anything if it is a large purchase.

Likewise, if I need to buy something for a birthday, or some clothes or something on ebay, I will always ask him first... most times if I say that is affordable, he will agree.  I never have to feel guilty over any purchases. He trusts me implicitly as well.

Every pay fortnight, I work out the bills and then Chris sits down at the computer with me and we discuss which ones we will pay... sometimes my plans in the Money Program are changed around if Chris thinks we will be over committed and we will rearrange things...

Money is not an issue with us because we see that we use it wisely and jointly.  It never is allowed to come between us in causing arguments and strife.  We know that money can cause problems in some marriages and we don't want it to be one in ours...

I received a little money from my Uncles' inheritance when we were first married.  We bought our first home with that money as a deposit... I wanted that money to be something that Chris could benefit from as well as me..

There have been a few people known to us who have his and her money and who even have secreted some away in case the marriage goes belly up... we never want anything like this in our marriage...

Sometimes if I have managed to be frugal, I will stay out in the kitchen, and let Chris get a surprise and see for himself... it is a great joy to me to please him like this... it kind of reminds me of the King in the counting house, counting all his money...I do love to see my frugality pay off...

Money  problems are listed in second place to sexual problems and infidelity, so money should have its rightful place in your marriage... don't let it- no matter how much or how little,  become a stumbling block for you both but share in its management together!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. Proverbs 31:11
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