Sunday, 29 January 2017

HOME: THE FORGOTTEN REALM

In our day and age, home life is – sadly - devalued, unappreciated, and sneered at; good home life, with its orderliness, cheerfulness, peace, contentment and simplicity is so very rare, that some people of my generation grew up without knowing it at all. In too many households, there are no orderly routines, no lovingly arranged decorations, no home-cooked meals, no family dinners, no welcoming neighbors into your home and showing hospitality – none of the warmth and lovingness that transform a house, a dwelling, into a home.

The incredibly important work of a woman as a keeper of her home, the woman who is present at her home, being the center and spirit of it, caring and nurturing, loving and creating, tending to the needs of her loved ones – is also tossed aside, aprons and home-baked cookies sound almost offensive in the light of the feminist agenda.

By the more tolerant, a mother of young children who stays home to care for her little ones is still seen as somehow 'justified', making a noble – even if unfortunate and unrewarding – sacrifice; but mothers of grown-up children, or married and childless women, or grown-up daughters – how dare they remain at home? How dare they to focus on the home? How can they say they are doing something important and worthwhile?

Yet I think no woman – mother, wife, daughter, sister or grandmother – should feel guilty for loving her home, for cherishing her home and making it the focus of her life, love, work, energy and creativity. No woman should feel she is squandering her talents because the role she chose isn't glorious or well-paid. No woman should feel unimportant, useless, or unproductive, because she chooses to make home her first priority.

Think of a childhood spent without ever smelling a delicious cake or pie, fresh for the oven; without ever tugging at the strings of Mother's apron (because she doesn't own one); without long, peaceful afternoons spent side by side, learning, laughing and playing alongside each other. Think of a husband coming home, each and every evening, to an empty, silent, cold, unorganized and basically uninhabited home, full of appliances and objects, but devoid of love and dedication. Imagine a tired old man who is walking down the street, thirsty for a glass of water to drink or for a few warm words of friendly conversation – but there is no one behind those closed unwelcoming doors during the entire day, and way too much pressure and rush during the evenings and weekends; think of all the loneliness, detachment, stress, unhappiness and emptiness that have been our share ever since we dismissed the home as the woman's realm, as a center of love, joy, peace, warmth and hospitality, and not just a place to eat and sleep.

What cause can be more noble and rewarding than setting our goal to re-conquering that realm? We can do that, bit by bit, with our daily work at home; each sweet-smelling, sparkling clean clothesline, each home-baked pie and hand-knitted scarf, each neighborly smile and welcoming gesture lead us on our way to become, again, queens of our households. by Anna T of Domestic Felicity


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“marry, bear children, guide the house . . .” 1 Tim. 5:14

10 comments:

  1. When my sons went to school I would make them muffins, cakes, biscuits etc and they often took double to share with friends as many of there friends rarely had home cooked cakes etc.. I grew up with the smell of baking and I was always determined that my sons would too. And it has paid off, today my son baked me beauitful bread rolls, drove around to my house whilst they were hot, just so I could have them!! I was thrilled.

    I might work, but my home always remain number 1.

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  2. It is great to see that what you have taught your children has been remembered. Teaching them to cook is a good idea..

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  3. Oh Glenys,

    You have such a God given gift with words. I know this post is one I'll be saving to read over and over again.

    I'd like to share a little bit of history, that perhaps might explain why I feel such a connection with you. I'll try to be brief.

    My first marriage, I married a man whom everyone believed to be a born-again Christian. Members of his church told me how lucky I was to have him. Long story short, it was a sham marriage. He was actually a pedophile who had married me for access to my youngest sister, then later my daughters. This all came out later, after my daughters were born. I left him, divorced him and won sole custody of my daughters. During this marriage, I was blessed to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, but it was warped, do you know what I mean?

    Years later, I met a wonderful, truly Christian man with two sons. I won't speak of his wife, that's not my story to tell. This time, my parents decided that my desire for a godly marriage, with my husband as the head of the house was warped and did their best to break us up, telling my daughters that he wasn't their father and they didn't have to obey him. I didn't know that until long after the damage with my daughters was done! My husband and I learned a LOT about following God's will during this time and today we have a great relationship with my youngest daughter and her son. We have a good relationship with our oldest son. The other 2 don't speak with us. During the marriage we both worked.

    In November I lost my job. In March I filed for disability. My husband and I are in complete agreement with my staying home and I am slowly learning how to be a homemaker again. The hardest thing to get used to is the loneliness though. None of my "friends" from work have contacted me, and no one in the neighborhood stays home. So, I'm learning to even more open to what God wants me to be and do now.

    Anyway, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble on, but I wanted to give you a glimpse at why your postings touch me so.

    May God above wrap his loving arms around you in an extra special way today.

    Love,

    Judi

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    1. Judi, you have blessed me today by sharing a cuppa and your life with me. We do have a lot in common and I do understand your situation... I too suffer from loneliness. In real life our country village has most people out during the day or milking cows... With my many illnesses, it is difficult to go for walks to connect and sometimes I don't make it to church. Homemaking for me is something which fills me with guilt- I can't keep the house as I would like. You could say that my spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak and that would be totally correct. I find blogging and Facebook to be a way of connecting to others, and it fills the empty void, to a point. So please come share tea with me any time you wish. My kettle is always on! love and blessings, Kindred Spirit. Glenys

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    2. Also, just to clarify, Judi... this post on homes was written by Anna T of Domestic Felicity. She is a gifted writer! :D

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    3. D'oh! Smack myself on the forehead! I didn't even notice that! Thanks for the clarification.

      Judi

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  4. I love the words you share.

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  5. Dear Glenys, I love Mrs.T's blog. I love seeing a young person who loves being at home like Mrs.T does. It gives me hope for the future! I am 56 and my youngest child is 19. I try to help my husband in his home-remodeling business, but if things get slow I am always asked by others if I can find a job. I have the best job in the world! Why would I give it up? I am a *Helpmeet* to my husband!!



    Linda

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    Replies
    1. Linda, it's true: we already have the best job in the world! Blessings!

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