Saturday, 14 September 2013


When my twin sister and I were in first grade at school, every morning we had Show and Tell... My father was an alcoholic and we saw many violent outbursts...

One particular Monday morning we announced in front of the whole class that our Daddy was drunk and threw Mummy's new Mixmaster bowl off the table, breaking it. We were standing there together holding hands as we always did, sure that this bit of horrifying gossip would be News du Jour! There was always competition in the class for the most interesting Show and Tell...

We were very perplexed and quite scared when we had to take a note home from the teacher, Mrs Jenner.. She wanted to see Mum as soon as possible... was it something we said??

Mum duly went to see our teacher, and when we came home, we were given a rough towelling down and told that we weren't to tell in class what we saw happen at home. In fact, we weren't to tell anyone anything about our home life! We were aghast and ashamed! And a little confused.

Apparently, there were things you didn't talk about and Dad breaking the Mixmaster bowl and being drunk was one of them. At 6 there were a lot of things we had to learn. And it was difficult. Really, when violence and drunkenness were a big part of our childhood, it was just another event that to us was normal in our abusive home...

What goes on in a home IS News du Jour for a child. Let us hope what they see going on in yours does not bring embarrassment and shame on you like it did to my mother.... and if it does, remember that children who see it often, become desensitised and treat it as normal even if undesirable. If they talk about it, don't blame them.

Make sure your children only see good things as their normality, if not, who knows what your children will be telling- and to whom? Give your children a good childhood and leave them a legacy of peace!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

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