Wednesday, 3 February 2016


I don’t think we realise how important our fathers are in our lives. They are taking a bigger role in children’s lives these days, but when I was a child in the 50’s, Dads went to work and mostly left the childrearing to Mums. We children knew no different. It was the norm.

Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology states that a woman who was deprived of the natural affection a father has for his child often has trouble being a loving wife and trusting men. Now I don’t believe we can make a blanket statement like that and speak for all women- but I do believe that fathers teach us to trust men.

Sitting on Daddy’s knee and relaxing while he reads us a story or cuddles us is critical for our development of trust in people and in God as our heavenly Father. I don’t believe this is relevant just for girls. Boys need a close relationship with their fathers too- because children watch everything a father does- he is a role model. How a child relates to her/himself is often a reflection of the love or lack of that a father gives.

Fathers of today usually are split 50/50. There is the New Sensitive Guy and the Absent Guy. Often in today’s world, this is not the father’s fault. Lots of women are choosing single parenthood as an option. This is disastrous for the future generation. Everyone needs a father figure. To not know a father’s love is to my mind, a sad circumstance.

Although Freud’s statement cannot talk for all womankind, I do believe some of it is relevant today. I believe that women deprived of the masculine input that a father brings can seek to compensate for it by becoming stridently feministic and distrustful of males. Again, not all but a lot. For a Father’s input is something we seek even subconsciously and we will find someone or something to replace the emptiness and fulfil the desire to have a relationship with our father.

I think it is so beautiful that our God describes Himself as our Father. It strikes a note deep within our heart for the acceptance and love that we need from our earthly father. And it is something that the majority of people can easily relate to. For through Fatherhood, our Heavenly Father describes the attributes of the love He has for each of us.

I believe we wives should cultivate respect for our children’s fathers. We should teach our sons that this is how a father responds to his children so that they will be good fathers to our grandchildren. Our daughters should see that their father is to be respected and loved so as to help them be their husband’s help meet and in so doing be loving and responsive partners.

The cycle of generations of fatherless children is going to be a tragedy for countless families. Let us who know to respect and love our husbands cultivate a loving relationship between them and our children- that Daddy’s little boys can be strong confident men and Daddy’s little girls be sweet and loving contented wives and mothers. In doing so, we will be opening the hearts of those most precious to us to the beauty of our Heavenly Father’s loving care for us.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and cometh down from the Father of lights.” James 1:17a

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