This morning my ex-husband died suddenly but peacefully at his home. We were married for 25 years and it was not a marriage made in heaven. In fact, he gave me 25 years of hell, which he himself confessed after our eventual divorce.
God has been preparing me for this day, in fact He brought my ex-husband to desire my forgiveness, which he got.
Not only did I forgive him but the day he had risky heart surgery a few months ago, I led my grandchildren, who I was minding in praying for him.
Why am I sharing with you? you ask. Because I see God's loving Hand in preparing me for this day, which He knows would have the capacity to tear me apart. You cannot endure such hatred aimed at you, mingled with regret at what wasn't to be, and to bear someone 4 children, without feeling anguished. But I am not.
We made our peace that day three years ago at my son-in-law's 30th birthday. Knowing him as well as I do, I knew he was asking for my forgiveness without actually voicing it, and he sensed that he got it as he was welcomed to have tea at our daughters' home when she was recovering from surgery and I was looking after her.
When she later told him that I had prayed for his surgery, she said he was pleased. He was many things, but stupid wasn't one of them. He knew he was forgiven..
Today, I am sad of course. I never wished him to die, and I am anguished to hear my children and grandchildren cry. But I am also filled with love for my LORD because I can see His loving Hand in preparing my heart for today. Especially with my present health problems too.
I chose to forgive, prayed for my enemy and received the peace that passes all understanding. But more importantly, I stand in awe of God's love and protection for me. Thanks to His guidance, I have nothing to feel guilty about and can truly be at peace as I serve and love our grieving children.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment. James 2:13