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Tuesday, 2 June 2015

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO BE SEPARATE



Night time has proven to be a difficult time for Chris and I.  We both have problems sleeping and often we keep each other awake.

Chris has osteoarthritis in his hips and shoulder and finds it hard to drop off to sleep. His legs are restless and jumpy and painful he often suffers from bad calf muscle cramps. It is not unusual for me to find him making himself a cup of tea in the middle of the night because he can't sleep. Plus we both have sleep apnea.

But more often than that, it is I who makes it hard for him. I usually go to bed full of pain and can't really get to sleep unless Chris rubs my back. He is very good like that and I usually get to sleep quickly. However, I grind my teeth in my sleep, stop breathing for about a minute, and snore. 

My medications cause GORD which has resulted in me having aspiration pneumonia and left me with asthma. I often wake up unable to breathe, and need to use my inhaler. My blood-thinners Clopidogrel and aspirin (for my stents in my heart to stay open and for antiphospholipid syndrome), cause me to have nosebleeds in my sleep as well.  Poor Chris is often disturbed again with this. So we are not good night time company.

Obviously, not all these things happen every night, but a good lot do and we have often considered sleeping in separate rooms. However, I have a problem with that because I love cuddles and sex if it happens, and I love sleeping in Chris's arms until I drop off to sleep. It has been our custom for the 17 years we have been married.

So we have worked out a strategy for staying close, yet sleeping separately. Chris will come to bed with me, and when I am asleep, he will come out to sleep by himself if he can't drop off.  We haven't actually got another bedroom set up in our new small house, so Chris sleeps in the recliner rocker. 

We are very passionate with each other and very demonstrative and we often sit watching TV holding hands. So there is no problem with closeness. And there is no problem with sleeping separately for the most part.

This situation is not ideal, but when chronic illness threatens to deprive others of their needed rest, something has to be done. We don't see any harm coming into our marriage through separate rooms, in fact, we think under the circumstances, it would enhance it...sometimes you just have to be separate.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


"When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. ” Proverbs 3:24

5 comments:

  1. There were a few years I couldn't sleep in the same bed at all with my husband because I was in a car accident and hurt my shoulder and neck. I had to sleep semi-upright in a chair. I got so used to sleeping without him snoring, thta it was hard to go back to. Now we start out in the same bed, and when he starts to snore, I slip down to the couch. We both wake up rested and happy!

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  2. That would be hard to do every night. We do not like being separated on the few nights my husband occasionally gets headaches and has to sleep sitting in a chair.

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  3. Well if it does come to that, at least you know you can still be close to each other. Not getting enough sleep makes me very cranky and sometimes weepy. So sleeping apart poses less of a risk of marital woes to us than sleeping with a chain saw next to you (that occasionally completely stops for a minute) making Chris wake me up to breathe. (Poor man!) So go for it if/when the time comes! :D

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  4. Dearest Glenys, how I love hearing about you and your husband. The Lord has and continues to use you and your marriage to bless others. Thank you for being open and honest....I so appreciate you. And thanks for sharing with Roses of Inspiration. Enjoy your day!

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    1. Thanks Stephanie. I continually thank Him for blessing me with a good man. I don't know how I would cope without Chris- or Him. Blessings!

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