Being intimate when you suffer from chronic pain is well, er- a pain. But we must try to cultivate desire from time to time as wives. Depending on the severity and nature of one's disability or illness, intimacy should still have a place in our life...
Apart from aiding in relaxation, sexual intercourse produces endorphins and oxytocin which produces feelings of closeness and bonding. Which is a good thing to have between married couples...
It is a medical fact that our brain is our greatest sexual organ. Desire starts there. When the body is tired and intimacy seems like one more ‘chore’ before blessed sleep, I have found that it helps to dwell on what made you fall in love with your husband in the first place. Bring to mind all the little things he said or did that spoke to you in your early days together.
Remember how he looked, how he smelt..his aftershave, even his sweat and the smoothness of his skin, his eyes, his voice. Remember too the intimate moments you shared in the past and let them intoxicate you again with rekindled love for your man. Cultivate a thankful heart for being his wife and look forward to celebrating that oneness in the beauty of the marital bed.
True intimacy is not what is shown in pornography. Under no circumstances focus on other people’s intimacy…you want to foster desire for your own husband’s embrace. As you dwell on your husband’s desirability, more often than not, your mind will start pining for his embrace. This god-given desire usually is stronger than tiredness.
The Shulamite in the Song of Songs fantasised about her husband’s body and eagerly looked forward to his lovemaking.. There certainly is a place for fantasising about intimacy with your husband. I find that by thinking of all the wonderful things about my spouse, and dwelling on them, that I can overcome chronic fatigue (through illness) and eagerly await intimacy with him. I believe that this is a great way to help overcome fatigue and lack of desire without sinning..
Take a look at the Song of Solomon and rekindle the flame.