Wednesday, 21 June 2017


I  am probably like most women in that I love looking at paintings of bygone eras.  Anything vintage delights me and I fantasise about living in those eras.   Indeed, some of my favourite books are olde worlde.  

Why is it so? you ask.  I believe it is because we who adore being a woman love the clothes and demeanour that accompanied women of the past. Women were for the most part, demure and feminine. And men treated us with respect.

We had an expectation from childhood that encompassed the ideals of the Titus 2 woman: we were expected to be pure, marry, keep house and become mothers. And for most of us- it was enough. 

Betrothal and marriage was held in high esteem, housework was seen as a worthy occupation, and working outside the home was for the widow or single woman who usually worked her fingers to the bone in a knitting mill or workhouse.  But for the married woman, there was acceptance that her work was not only worthy but could be meted out as circumstances dictated.

Our values were contrary to today's values: We wanted few things in life: a man who loved us, who provided for us a home that didn't allow the rain to enter or the wind to blow through. A reasonably equipped kitchen with a big wood oven that had a kettle which constantly simmered on the back burner and that provided not only nourishment but warmth and enough food to keep one fed and satisfied. And at end of day,  a reasonably comfortable bed.  It was enough to keep us happy.

We expected to bear a child each year, and often a wedding present would consist of a hand carved cradle.   Women rarely aborted their children and accepted each child as meant to be...There were no raised eyebrows and admonitions to limit our family if possible, just a happy contentment and trust in God that He would provide for each need. And for the most part He did!  

Motherhood was held in high regard and not only was there deference towards a heavily pregnant woman, but care that she not only be looked after during her pregnancy, but that she was afforded a lying in time after her confinement. A time where she usually could briefly leave the running of her house to her mother or some other relative, and recover from the rigours of childbirth and bond with her baby...

We had to launder clothes over big coppers, back breaking work, yes, but it was honest toil for our family and we did not see ourselves too high in life to do it.. It was part of what being a housewife was about. It was our lot and mostly we accepted it.

Women were treated with deference to their sensibilities: most gentlemen would ensure that no one used unseemly language or unruly  behaviour in front of them. Men would tip their hat as they passed a lady in the street and offer her a chair at functions where seating was inadequate. We were treated as royalty. And rightly so for a woman of virtue...

Alas, feminism destroyed the romance, esteem, purity and dream of femininity. It changed our world and made the truly feminine woman drown in a sea of masculine attributes which not only overwhelmed her but saw her domestic endeavours looked down upon as  non productive and her a subservient doormat.  A non person. 

Today it is a sad fact that a lot of women who live life according to the ideals of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, are in the minority and suffer great loneliness and even isolation.  Especially when they choose to stay at home and give God control of their womb..especially when they submit to their husbands... especially when they home school their children... especially when they truly follow scriptural principles in godly womanhood.

We live in a world that has rejected biblical living and femininity. Long gone are the ideals of living as a Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 woman. We who strive to go against the tide of popular feministic life-styles and worldly opinion are often bereft of friends in real life who will support us.

We turn to books and blogs and forums for like-minded women and we look at  the pictures and dress of women of yesteryear who had the privilege of living their lives with  the approval of a society that was more genteel and modest than ours today. . Yet, as we spit the ashes of smouldering dreams out of our mouths, we dare to dream that it still could be like that ....

That is, I believe, why it is so...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 1 Timothy 5:14

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