Sunday, 18 October 2009


All my writings are a call for common sense and balance in Jesus’ Name! Jesus taught balance in all His sermons. In every thing we should weigh up what is written against the Word of God and not take any persons' message as gospel.

In particular, I am speaking of Debi and Michael Pearls' teachings in their books To Train Up A Child and Created To Be His Helpmeet. After reading them, some people rave of benefits to their marriage and in child training, while most are floundering in guilt because nothing is helping. Quite often, because the Pearls imply that mostly the woman has the power to change things. Obviously, God is the One Who changes things and all other efforts are doomed to failure. Reliance on God is not stressed in the books, in fact, self-reliance are preached. Talk about building your house on the sand!

However, there is a grain of truth in their books. Let’s acknowledge what little is good in these books, but try and put out the fire of damage that it has the potential of doing in the lives of those who take the Pearls advice to the extreme…I know without a doubt that there will be people who are hurt by over zealous application of some of the basically unsound and unscriptural suggestions regarding suffering in marriage and in child training!

We need to pray for these wives and children…they will be the ones suffering whilst the few who report good changes in their marriages and family rejoice! Only the LORD will know how many really will profit by these applications.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Psalm 82:3

Saturday, 17 October 2009


After my critique of Created To Be His Helpmeet, I received some not so kind comments, one in particular from a lady called is my response to M for stating that I over reacted because of my abusive ex-husband and that this had "coloured my lenses"..

I reflected on M’s comment regarding my first abusive marriage and I had to concede that it had indeed ‘coloured my lenses’ in how I think about women suffering in silence at the hands of a violent husband. It has ‘coloured my lenses’ in how I see the church in general counsel the abused wife- and it certainly has ‘coloured my lenses’ to how I respond to the erroneous advice Debi Pearl dishes out to the suffering wife.

So, I stand guilty of having coloured lenses. I stand guilty of being sensitive to the weak, afraid and hurting godly wife who is abused. I weep when I read or hear of children living with domestic abuse. My lenses are very coloured here because I was raised in a home of not one, but two alcoholics (an uncle who lived with us), who made our lives miserable. My father would often push my mother and I would have to push him off her….yes, it coloured my lenses.

I cry for the children enduring not only the violence that alcoholism brings into the home, but these days- the drugs! My heart is heavy as I relive the pain of domestic violence seen through children’s eyes. And I cry for the feelings of powerlessness that it evokes in all on the receiving end.

When a book such as CTBHH comes along, I am hopeful that it will have real “meat” for the abused wife- some hope and helpful comments to encourage and edify! There are many that do address this issue-alas, CTBHH is not one of them. For the issue is almost deliberately side-stepped, leaving the reader with sand in her mouth.

So, why do I write about this in my blog? Is it a vent for my years of trouble? A cathargic release leading to healing? A bid to become “known” as a Christian writer? God forbid, none of these things! My primary focus is to encourage women- all women: single, happily married, unhappily married, divorced or separated or widowed. I truly love my Sisters in Christ everywhere and I try to uplift and edify them- because of love. God knows, I have had many things happen to me in 63 years: I simply share them in what I hope are transparently honest posts.

My heart is sad that CTBHH is such a divisive book- one is forced to take a stance one way or the other. This should not be! Sisters should support each other in the LORD not fight each other over this issue or anything else. I am sad that Debi and Michael Pearl’s Ministry opportunity was so badly squandered. So much good could have come from them if they had stuck to scripture and had not only compassion, but commonsense!

So I say simply- I stand with the weak and afraid, the uncertain and the searching! I stand with the little children who are switched from an early age- and I stand (trembling) against the sinful husbands who have to take responsibility for their own actions and who must stop pointing the finger at their wives. And I stand against Ministries that offer vinegar to the thirsty and switches for loving discipline and cuddles. I don’t think I stand alone…..

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Psalm 82:3

Tuesday, 6 October 2009


I have recently read Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be His Helpmeet" Frankly, I think the book is scripturally unsound and borders on demeaning and insulting to women. What Debi Pearl says about the sick wife is just one area where I find a lack of compassion and an almost mysogynistic outlook. Here is what she says:
"being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a “bad marriage” coin. Men in general (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man’s spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react in anger.”
As a woman who suffers from illnesses that cause chronic pain and fatigue, I am so overjoyed to report that my husband doesn’t treat me as a faulty appliance which causes him great anger, but he cherishes me and tries to alleviate my suffering on bad days by sharing in my tasks and closing an eye to that which can’t be done on any particular day. After all, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. Isn’t that type of commitment what God wants in marriage? So this chapter got me thanking God for the blessing of a husband who puts me first when I need it.

We Sacrificial Home Keepers have enough on our plates already: trying to cope with our illness, be a good wife and mother and run our home. We often deal with disbelieving family members when the illness is an invisible illness like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Most likely you too have thought, like I do, that sometimes it would be easier to have an illness or disability that is highly visible rather than endure snide remarks about laziness and so on as we battle on.

Debi and Michael Pearl lack compassion, empathy and love. In my opinion, they lack many Christlike attributes that are the hallmark of a Christian. To put such a heavy yoke onto a sick woman's shoulders is to cause her added stress and anxiety. It is not the way of Christ.

I believe that the majority of sick women fight a courageous battle and do an overwhelmingly good job of being a Helpmeet to their husband. They are usually the hardest on themselves for they want to do that which their healthier Sisters do and they often fail. They do not need the likes of some author (Christian or not), putting the boot in and blaming them for their husbands' anger and spiritual unease. Nor do they need to be made anxious about their marriage.

Over the years, I have observed marriages where the wife is ill and I have seen that the majority of husbands are not as Debi Pearl claims. They love their wife and usually do all they can to support her in her homemaking efforts. They bring their children in line and demand that they take their mothers' health into consideration.

This is the love Christ wants for us, not the "love" portrayed by Debi Pearl. We would do well to reject her ideas on the sick spouse and to thank God that we have the Holy Spirit to lead us into Truth. He is indeed our Comforter.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

Sunday, 26 July 2009


First the General Practitioner’s was sold. It had been a house that was revamped for him. We waited eagerly to see if a medical service would take its place…we sorely need dental surgeries and physiotherapy, rehabilitation centres or pain management clinics in our area.

There were months of extensions and electrical works. Concreters made ramps for the front entrance and a car park was enlarged from a small parking area to room for about 20 cars. Over the next few months, we saw medical equipment and treatment couches and trolleys brought in. Our excitement and curiosity mounted.
What was this wonderful service for us? The sign post had long been stripped of its sold sign but no new sign was forthcoming. Finally, the place was finished! But no news in the local paper or no new sign gave us a clue to our new service! During the week the place was not busy at all…sometimes deserted. Very strange. Saturdays were extremely busy with the car park full. Still there was no word what the building was.

I did a google search of the area….you guessed it. Our taxes are funding an abortion clinic! I am so upset! I know that abortion will always be a sad fact of life- but it is vexing that one should be built so close to our home! A service that will line the pockets of the abortionists, funded by tax payers money and serving only one small facet of the community!It is so very sad and disappointing!

I will always feel a sense of sadness for the little innocents’ lives that are taken and the lives messed up for women who will have to live with their decision for the rest of their lives! As I wait for a place in a pain management clinic, I swallow the bitter pill of anger and disappointment in the spiraling sin of our hedonistic society. And I shed a tear for the little ones sucked viciously from the warmth of their mother’s womb. And I pray “Maranatha, Lord Jesus!”…and shiver as I pass.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward". Psalm 127:3

Saturday, 13 June 2009


I read that late term abortion provider, Dr George Tiller was gunned down and shot dead as he served as an usher in his home church in Wicheta. The link above describes the event.

Now as most of you who know me already know, I am a pro-life Christian and a self-confessed baby-holic. I love everything to do with pregnancy, childbirth and babies. I have a lot of time for children and teens...I get on well with most adults and I look after and love my aged mother. I abhor the thought of euthanasia. I tell you this, because I love life! "Make your point!" you say?

The point I am making is that I am extremely pro-life and anti-abortion. However, that does not mean that I wish to kill those who promote and perform is not the way of our Saviour! I understand the emotion that abortion creates: I have been touched by it in my own family....and I can never agree that killing an innocent unborn child is a good thing....let's be plain about it: it is murder! But that doesn't give us the right to commit the same act and thus have blood on *our* hands.

This event bothers me too because it is going to have some bad repercussions on other pro-life supporters and anti-abortion protesters who use peaceful means to get their point across. We are going to be pictured as dangerous radicals when nothing could be further from the truth. It just goes to show that abortion spreads death and trouble where ever it is practised. But loathe it as we do, we can never right a wrong by taking a life- for we all know that two wrongs don't make a right....

Let's remember that there is one Judge Who will judge Dr George Tiller...and be glad we don't have the blood of innocents on our hands when we stand before Him.

Maranatha, Lord Jesus!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Romans 12:19

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