Friday, 17 November 2017

'THE ARGUMENT"



Goodnight, my Dear,” I whispered
As I turned out the light-
Asleep, you didn’t hear me,
My words were lost in the night.
My sighs joined your soft breathing
As you slumbered by my side-
Another chance of forgiveness
Would again be denied.


I tried to tell you this morning
That I didn’t mean what I said,
But you pouted and turned away-
I spoke to the back of your head.
I’ve searched my heart for comfort
And words to bring us both some peace,
But you will not let me say them,
And it’s causing us both grief.


As I toss and turn beside you
I have turned to God to pray
For a chance of asking forgiveness
And that you won’t just turn away.
I know the morning will soon be here
And I don’t want the brand new day
To bring more grief and misunderstanding
Like what we have suffered here today.


I am going to have to talk to you now,
As I have wanted to all day long-
For the longer we let this hurt go,
The harder it will be to get along.
So please remember now my Dear
That God wants us to be as one
And to never keep an argument going
After the setting of the sun.



 © Glenys Robyn Hicks



“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” Ephesians 4:26

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

IT'S NOT ABOUT HAPPINESS!



As I mentioned, we have just had a referendum on whether the laws for marriage should be changed to allow same sex couples to marry. We now have the results of those votes...
Chris and I voted No as we believe it is against God's Word, however, 79% of Australians voted YES. Although this does not change the Marriage Act of 1961- yet, it is a hair's breadth off being passed. We are not happy about it.
It is not about homophobia. We are not. But it is about calling clean what God has said is unclean. We will never vote for the sanctity of marriage to be inclusive of same sex couples.
Same sex couples have the same rights under the law as married couples any way. But to dishonour marriage by "marrying" one of the same sex is going too far in my opinion. It violates nature and puts children brought into the relationship at risk of never knowing who their father was and what having a father is like.

We must pray for our country as the die for God's judgement has been cast. The majority of people who voted YES will reap their reward as God takes His Hand of blessing off us. And the minority who love Him will be swept along in the tide..
I know days like these have been prophesied, but it still is difficult to swallow that the majority of Aussies view homosexuality as a right and marriage between gays to be included as a right to ensure gay people are happy...
That's what is paramount in importance in today's world- personal happiness, even if it means shaking one's fist in God's Face and telling Him that He does not know what's best for His creation... Maranatha. Come quickly, Lord!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.. 1 Corinthians 6:9

Sunday, 12 November 2017

STILL-BIRTH: A PERPETUAL POST-NATAL DEPRESSION



It is  48 years since  the stillbirth of my identical twin girls, Sarah Robyn and Ruth Glenys Urbani.  They  arrived in Heaven on the 10th November 1969 although it wasn't until 12th November that labour set in and they were born. They were 32 weeks gestation.

Over the years I have blamed myself for not knowing that something was wrong, but I had just turned 16 and didn't know much about pregnancy.  I wasn't sure how often I should be feeling a baby kick- the only thing I was sure about was that I wanted to be the best mother I could possibly be. My child would be loved!

Devastated and not knowing why my babies had died in utero, I blamed the doctor who was supposedly looking after me.... he didn't treat my kidney infection adequately- and that was what eventually killed my babies.  I also blamed my mother for not telling me more about childbirth and leaving me in ignorance- perhaps with a little knowledge, I could have gone to the hospital when I didn't feel movement.  Perhaps they could have given me antibiotics and saved the girls...

Not knowing that God was loving, I was too scared to approach Him for help in my grief... as a pregnant bride at 16, I was sure that He was punishing me by taking my babies. And I blamed my father, who in an alcoholic state on finding out about my pregnancy, cursed me and my baby, telling me he hoped I suffered badly when I gave birth.  He got his wish.

The blame game was pretty rife through out my pregnancy actually.  Dad drank himself into a stupor  which resulted in him having his first heart attack. He was forbidden by doctors to come to my wedding. My uncle gave me away. And Dads'  mother blamed me and didn't come to our wedding.  I had no one to love me for my new husband started his violence as soon as he placed the wedding ring on my finger...I had no one except my baby to love me... as it turned out, my babies...

I think the hardest thing in my life was leaving the hospital empty-handed. I never got to see my twins and was simply answered a terse "No"  when I asked if they were deformed...the nursing staff were horrid to me.

I arrived home to cry over the bassinette waiting in the bedroom and I cried afresh when I opened the music box that played Brahms Lullaby... which I often had played, fantasising about my coming child while I waited endlessly for my husband to come home to fill my long days at home alone.... I so looked forward to being busy with a baby.... and not so lonely.

My breasts ached with milk and I expressed them to make myself comfortable, feeling that I still had some connection to my babies.  I had nothing to show that they had existed except my milk and stretch marks and all I could do was name them and hold them forever in my heart.

No one else wanted to acknowledge that they had even existed.  No one helped me in my grief. Not even my husband, who insisted in the delivery room that I go to work.... I turned my face to the wall and cried in deep draughts that came from wells within me that broke and never really stopped flowing....

I hated myself for not even being able to carry my babies, my depression turned inward. I was convinced that I was evil because of the jealousy I felt on seeing a pregnant woman or a woman with a baby. ..Oh, I had more children and I love them fiercely, but the wells of grief still overtake me some days.

Each baby's face of both my newborn children and grandchildren is scrutinised, wondering if Sarah or Ruth's hair would have had the same little cowslick and if they were black haired or auburn like my firstborn child and youngest grandchild.  I never got to know if it were so or.... to see... to touch... to say hello and goodbye.....

48 years is a long time to grieve, but I guess I will always grieve for the babies who came into the world unwanted and unloved by all but me.and the LORD- for now I have met the LORD and  I know that I will see them in glory,  for I have found salvation and peace in a God Who grieves with me and helps console me in the most difficult of days of depression....

Stillbirth is a perpetual post-natal depression that time doesn't really heal.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Cast your cares upon the Lord, for he careth for you. I Peter 5:7

PLEASE DON'T TELL THEIR PARENTS!


I was minding my three young grandchildren the other morning. It was a very early start at 4am with all three children waking up at 5am as soon as their parents left for the airport. I decided to feed them early in hopes that they would go back to bed.... As the children told me what they wanted to have for breakfast, I listened to the chatter...

"Jess, you can't have Weeties, too many carbs!" "No, Liam! I am allowed bacon and eggs: Mum said I can have that cos it's got no carbs, and I'm on a fat and no carb diet!" I had to referee a fight over Jess not taking sugar in her tea whilst Liam piled his on his cereal....he is not on a diet! In fact, he could gain a pound or 2, whereas Jess takes after her Nana...ahem! Yes, life could be so unfair! Sighing, I glanced at the clock: 5:45 am and the day was still young!

Getting a bottle for Thomas, I smiled to myself: he is too young to care what goes into his bottle and he accepted it with his characteristic grin and good nature (except for this morning at 5am's outburst of horror as he realised that Mum had gone. But I digress)...Catching the morning's Nutritional Goodness theme, I mentally made a note of calcium benefits for him.

It was then time for me to have breakfast and I found myself staring blankly into the pantry, trying to keep awake. As my hand reached out for the Sugar Frosties, Liam piped up with, "Hey, Nan, they're full of sugar: are you allowed to have sugar? Sugar's not good for you: Mum said I can't have too much cos it makes me hyper!" I thought guiltily about my diabetes and I put it back!

Knowing that the smell of toast would be too much of a temptation for young Jessica to resist, I decided that I would forgo that this morning and instead I grabbed a tin of tuna as a high protein choice. But my little shadow informed me that his Mum had bought just enough tins for Dad's high protein/no carbs diet next week. Guilty again, I put it back in its place in line with the others in the pantry.

My stomach was growling by now and I was getting desperate for something to fill it. Better be something healthy today I thought with an inwards chuckle. Not wanting to be warned off anything else, I made myself a cup of tea without sugar and grabbed a piece of rye bread sans butter and slowly chewed on it...

The kids returned to bed and I crept back out into the kitchen: I don't care what my diet conscious grandchildren think: I just want some breakfast! I grabbed the sugar loaded cereal and put some sugar in my tea. What they don't know won't hurt them, but please don't tell their parents!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken" Proverbs 15:13

Thursday, 9 November 2017

HE WILL HAVE HIS WAY.


So the plane starts getting towed away from the boarding gate as we begin our journey to England. The touch screens in front of us go back to screen saver mode with the Airlines logo and then go blank. In its' place is a video in Arabic/Indonesian and English, a long winded prayer asking their god to be merciful to us on the flight. It went on for about five long minutes...

After it had finished, I turned to Chris and said that I would be saying my own prayers. Which I did. But I was nevertheless impressed by the fact that prayers were said and that these people were not afraid to be zealous for their god. I remarked to Chris that it was a shame that we Christians were generally apathetic when it came to witnessing or standing up for our faith. He agreed.

I believe in sports as they promote community and keep kids out of trouble. But it is a sad fact that many people are more interested in their sporting idols and events than they are of anything to do with God. How I wish the enthusiasm shown at sporting events and horse or dog races could be channeled into evangelism and enthusiasm for the things of the LORD.

How much better would the world be if a faith of hope and love and forgiveness was practiced with as much gusto as these people of other faith practiced theirs. It made me dream of a world that was on fire with love of Christ and righteousness... and I wonder why we can't seem to bring ourselves to tell the Good News of Salvation to the world like they do for their god.... 

As we flew far above the earth, I marveled at the depth of God's love, and His creation, and His handiwork, and was thankful that in spite of our hesitancy to promote our faith as others do, God will have His way and reign as rightful King and God of all....

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. Revelation 1:8

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

FEELING JOY IN YOUR SALVATION




When I was a young Christian, I often found myself crying and feeling a deep internal pain when something touched my spirit. Worship, music or a sermon would touch me so deeply with its' peace but with it, pain and tears followed.  It was almost as if I didn't feel worthy enough to feel that peace and joy. 

I was very depressed at the time and the peace and wonder of it all was strange to me since I was feeling such gloom and negativity. In the end, I had to actually give myself permission to feel happy and peaceful. It took prayer and disciplining myself to bring my thoughts into the captivity or subjection of Christ. 

It also took training of my mind and self image to accept that God sent His Son to die for *me*... none of us is worthy to have Christ die for us... but through faith in Him, we can accept that Father God considers us worthy- not because of what *we* have done, but because of what *He* has done.... 

It is not unChrist-like to love yourself, because if you don't see yourself as lovable, you will never achieve the peace and comfort of being saved... You will be saved, but will miss out on the joy and peace of your salvation... 

I hope I have expressed it properly.... love yourself enough to accept God's view of you and then open up to the joy of your salvation...irregardless of how we *feel* though, we are saved and loved by a great God. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Psalm 51:12

Sunday, 5 November 2017

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU FOLLOW!

Life is a theatre - invite your audience carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships/fellowships!

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to:

Which ones lift and which ones lean?

Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?

Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?

The more you seek God and the things of God the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God the more you seek things honorable the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around! Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the front row of your life.    author unknown

Blessings, Glenys 

The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.  Proverbs 12:26

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